Mood:
incredulousNow Playing: Nothing
It's been along time....I'm all moved into my new house. Since Oct. I stop my prozac, I've gone down hill. The past few months...it's roller coaster. I felt soo much better on prozac...
Posted by halleyberry1
at 8:11 PM EST
Monday, December 5, 2005
short for time.but I'll write
Mood:
flirty
Now Playing: Nothing
Hey I made it 2yrs with Ant! I'm not feeling well tonight! Today was okay I guess. I slept for most of the day. The house is messy. I'll clean in the morn!
Mood:
flirtyNow Playing: Nothing
Hey I made it 2yrs with Ant! I'm not feeling well tonight! Today was okay I guess. I slept for most of the day. The house is messy. I'll clean in the morn!
Posted by halleyberry1
at 10:33 PM EST
Friday, November 18, 2005
I want to write last nite
Mood:
lazy
Now Playing: Scooby
I wanted to write last night but I forgot! I re-colored my hair...Life is oaky I guess. Just short on money. The van is semi-broke, it all good!
Mood:
lazyNow Playing: Scooby
I wanted to write last night but I forgot! I re-colored my hair...Life is oaky I guess. Just short on money. The van is semi-broke, it all good!
Posted by halleyberry1
at 11:26 AM EST
Thursday, November 17, 2005
I won a great battle
Mood:
caffeinated
Now Playing: Keith Urban_Be here
Thank-you God for letting me win a great battle today! I defeated you devil!! You tried to get to me and not allow me to finish my goals today! I laugh at you. Because I Won!! It feels great to have a perfect house! It makes me feel great! Thank-you God for giving to the strenght to finish! The devil almost won amd I almost gave-in but I told him he's a lair! To go away!
Mood:
caffeinatedNow Playing: Keith Urban_Be here
Thank-you God for letting me win a great battle today! I defeated you devil!! You tried to get to me and not allow me to finish my goals today! I laugh at you. Because I Won!! It feels great to have a perfect house! It makes me feel great! Thank-you God for giving to the strenght to finish! The devil almost won amd I almost gave-in but I told him he's a lair! To go away!
Posted by halleyberry1
at 2:03 AM EST
Monday, November 14, 2005
Oh my Word!What happen to how I felt?
Mood:
down
Now Playing: Jazz
It's 8pm
Dear Lord
I was doing great all day and even after class I was feeling great and about two hours ago I got all bummed out. I guess the only thing that I can think of that go me dwon is money issuses. I Think I messed us up again. Gosh dogit. I spent more than we had and had to get money out of saving. That's bad,I got to quit doing that. Soon we won't have money to pay bills. I'm considing getting a job,but dn't know what to do. I know that I have a problem with money. It's gotta stop! before it gets out of ahnd agian. Oh my word that can't happen agian. But if I don't stop it:It will. oh geess. Lord please help me. I'm slipping!All I can think about is the money it's getting annoying b/c I know I did something wrong and not grow-up.
I wanna cry but I can't! I can't even began to tell you where it all went. Geess! I'm so upset i could beat up a cow.
Mood:
downNow Playing: Jazz
It's 8pm
Dear Lord
I was doing great all day and even after class I was feeling great and about two hours ago I got all bummed out. I guess the only thing that I can think of that go me dwon is money issuses. I Think I messed us up again. Gosh dogit. I spent more than we had and had to get money out of saving. That's bad,I got to quit doing that. Soon we won't have money to pay bills. I'm considing getting a job,but dn't know what to do. I know that I have a problem with money. It's gotta stop! before it gets out of ahnd agian. Oh my word that can't happen agian. But if I don't stop it:It will. oh geess. Lord please help me. I'm slipping!All I can think about is the money it's getting annoying b/c I know I did something wrong and not grow-up.
I wanna cry but I can't! I can't even began to tell you where it all went. Geess! I'm so upset i could beat up a cow.
Posted by halleyberry1
at 8:36 PM EST
Wednesday, November 9, 2005
Church staff doesn't make no sence
Mood:
silly
Now Playing: TV
Well just an update, I guess...So I sought out help for my problem at hand. I get ditch on the crub my own church family. That hurts.! I stop going to Centers and found a great person to help me. It seems to be going well. I tire and it late. LUV me
Mood:
sillyNow Playing: TV
Well just an update, I guess...So I sought out help for my problem at hand. I get ditch on the crub my own church family. That hurts.! I stop going to Centers and found a great person to help me. It seems to be going well. I tire and it late. LUV me
Posted by halleyberry1
at 11:27 PM EST
Sunday, October 23, 2005
I shall....
Mood:
hungry
Now Playing: Robots Soundtrack
I shall wake up every morning with a happy life and I will tell myself that I am God's great child. He loves me. I have a reason to life b/c he loves me. I shall tell myslef that I'm pretty,smart,wonderful.
Mood:
hungryNow Playing: Robots Soundtrack
I shall wake up every morning with a happy life and I will tell myself that I am God's great child. He loves me. I have a reason to life b/c he loves me. I shall tell myslef that I'm pretty,smart,wonderful.
Posted by halleyberry1
at 2:04 PM EDT
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Prayer
Mood: hungry
Now Playing: Silents of the morning
Good mOrrning God,
I want to have a good day today so that will be my prayer today. I pray that you will give me the right mind set for the day and that my girls will understand why I can't lead anymore. I thank-yo u for Lisnday. I pray for the new church, Please watch pver my famly and dad and mom while they are gone. Please forgive. Watch over me. I love you.-Amen-
Mood:
hungryNow Playing: Silents of the morning
Good mOrrning God,
I want to have a good day today so that will be my prayer today. I pray that you will give me the right mind set for the day and that my girls will understand why I can't lead anymore. I thank-yo u for Lisnday. I pray for the new church, Please watch pver my famly and dad and mom while they are gone. Please forgive. Watch over me. I love you.-Amen-
Posted by halleyberry1
at 7:45 AM EDT
Friday, October 21, 2005
Crush
Mood:
blue
Now Playing: Nothing
I'm soo crush, Just when I thought I found something postive, it was taking away from me today. I was teaching 6th small group at church, Until today! Jay and I met today and dicussed what was happening in my life. He told me that I could no longer lead. That hurts! I really don't see his side.
I have Tyler for the weekend agian. I can't think so I'll write later.
Mood:
blueNow Playing: Nothing
I'm soo crush, Just when I thought I found something postive, it was taking away from me today. I was teaching 6th small group at church, Until today! Jay and I met today and dicussed what was happening in my life. He told me that I could no longer lead. That hurts! I really don't see his side.
I have Tyler for the weekend agian. I can't think so I'll write later.
Posted by halleyberry1
at 7:23 PM EDT
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Prayer
Mood:
hug me
Hi God,
Are you hugging me beacuse if you are I don't feel it. I guess it b/c I've been so mad at you latley that I can't feel you or Angel.
It's 10pm and I want to say please help me with this next few weeks. I'm getting so sick of being upset and fighting with Anthony. I know you hear me sometimes when you hear me say I want out of my marriage with Anthony. God he makes me so mad at times it hurtful. I pray that you will guide me. I love you
Forgive me of my sins
-Amen-
Mood:
hug meHi God,
Are you hugging me beacuse if you are I don't feel it. I guess it b/c I've been so mad at you latley that I can't feel you or Angel.
It's 10pm and I want to say please help me with this next few weeks. I'm getting so sick of being upset and fighting with Anthony. I know you hear me sometimes when you hear me say I want out of my marriage with Anthony. God he makes me so mad at times it hurtful. I pray that you will guide me. I love you
Forgive me of my sins
-Amen-
Posted by halleyberry1
at 10:00 PM EDT
The fence
My life is dark and gray
Filled with dirty secrets and dirty feelings.
Feelings of guilt,hate,lust
Secerts are what are keeping from winning my battle.
I want to forget what happen
I"m so lost and depress
I can't get over the fence.
I try to go over but my shoe gets stuck evertime
I try to get it unstuck
But I can't
So I just give up
I'm still stuck in the fence
Wanting to move go
Maybe one I'll get over it.
My life is dark and gray
Filled with dirty secrets and dirty feelings.
Feelings of guilt,hate,lust
Secerts are what are keeping from winning my battle.
I want to forget what happen
I"m so lost and depress
I can't get over the fence.
I try to go over but my shoe gets stuck evertime
I try to get it unstuck
But I can't
So I just give up
I'm still stuck in the fence
Wanting to move go
Maybe one I'll get over it.
Posted by halleyberry1
at 9:51 PM EDT
To release,or not to relase
Mood:
irritated
Now Playing: Panpipes
I say release the stress!
I've gotten so upset today it's mad crazy. I've blown up and Anthony many times today. We didn't go to the butterfly garden today becasue it was too much. We instead went to Chili's for lunch with the kids.
I'm so mentally and physcailly exusted. Everything is starting to drive to the boardline of a melt down. I need to get away for the weekend.
I think I found one of my outlets for stress,Cooking!
Anthony and I are fighting agian b/c he working too much. I still feel like a single mom.
Last night I told Anthony Not to have anybody over b/c the house was and is still dirty. He still had someone over. That gets too me. Even though he started cleaning, it was still and is still dirty when they came over. It's an embassarment for me when someone comes over and my house is trashed. Also last night when he was cleaning he said don't worry hun I'll finish the rest later. Today thewhole story changed. It's now I want you to help me. Why do I have to clean up a mess when I didn't make it.
I wish I could say that evertime I have to wash his clothes or clean-up the bathroom. But I don't think I've say it.
I think that when I get stress or upset and tummy acts up.
How am I suppose to feel or act when he works and goes to school,Am suppose to be oaky with the fact that he helps out every now and then. I think what get me is that If I ask him he gets an attidude.
We fight too much. I want to cry but not tearsd are willing to come out. 10...9...8..7...6..5..4...3..2..1..0! GRRRRRRRRRRR! Gees I'm so lost and mad.
I'm kinda upset that I can't have two type of cousling. I have to wait,until I'm done witht the Center before I go to the Christian Center.
Last night bible study was good I guess. We learned how to use the diffult gifts that God has given to us. But I don't really know how God can use me. I don't even want to call it a gift. Because I don't see it as that, I see it as hurt and distrust. I'm having a hard time trust God. I know that he did it for a reason, it's hard for me to want to expext it. I know that we are suppose to forget about the past and seek for the best of the future. Because that's what it says in the bible. I want to leave it behind, but someone is trapping me from moving on. From Paul and Scott. I hate both of them. I'm I too forgive them? How though. How do I move on and forget?? So lost.
Mood:
irritatedNow Playing: Panpipes
I say release the stress!
I've gotten so upset today it's mad crazy. I've blown up and Anthony many times today. We didn't go to the butterfly garden today becasue it was too much. We instead went to Chili's for lunch with the kids.
I'm so mentally and physcailly exusted. Everything is starting to drive to the boardline of a melt down. I need to get away for the weekend.
I think I found one of my outlets for stress,Cooking!
Anthony and I are fighting agian b/c he working too much. I still feel like a single mom.
Last night I told Anthony Not to have anybody over b/c the house was and is still dirty. He still had someone over. That gets too me. Even though he started cleaning, it was still and is still dirty when they came over. It's an embassarment for me when someone comes over and my house is trashed. Also last night when he was cleaning he said don't worry hun I'll finish the rest later. Today thewhole story changed. It's now I want you to help me. Why do I have to clean up a mess when I didn't make it.
I wish I could say that evertime I have to wash his clothes or clean-up the bathroom. But I don't think I've say it.
I think that when I get stress or upset and tummy acts up.
How am I suppose to feel or act when he works and goes to school,Am suppose to be oaky with the fact that he helps out every now and then. I think what get me is that If I ask him he gets an attidude.
We fight too much. I want to cry but not tearsd are willing to come out. 10...9...8..7...6..5..4...3..2..1..0! GRRRRRRRRRRR! Gees I'm so lost and mad.
I'm kinda upset that I can't have two type of cousling. I have to wait,until I'm done witht the Center before I go to the Christian Center.
Last night bible study was good I guess. We learned how to use the diffult gifts that God has given to us. But I don't really know how God can use me. I don't even want to call it a gift. Because I don't see it as that, I see it as hurt and distrust. I'm having a hard time trust God. I know that he did it for a reason, it's hard for me to want to expext it. I know that we are suppose to forget about the past and seek for the best of the future. Because that's what it says in the bible. I want to leave it behind, but someone is trapping me from moving on. From Paul and Scott. I hate both of them. I'm I too forgive them? How though. How do I move on and forget?? So lost.
Posted by halleyberry1
at 8:45 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 9:31 PM EDT
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Don't know what to think
Mood:
not sure
Now Playing: Muppets in Spaces
Bible study got to me last night. We talk about diffult gifts that God has given us. God you give me a very hard gift. I started at the Centers yesterday too...I'm just so losted. I cried alot today. I was on the phone alot too. The church is trying to get me Christian Counsler too besides the Centers. I hope that the center will allow it. Too lost to write anymore. Good night
Mood:
not sureNow Playing: Muppets in Spaces
Bible study got to me last night. We talk about diffult gifts that God has given us. God you give me a very hard gift. I started at the Centers yesterday too...I'm just so losted. I cried alot today. I was on the phone alot too. The church is trying to get me Christian Counsler too besides the Centers. I hope that the center will allow it. Too lost to write anymore. Good night
Posted by halleyberry1
at 10:04 PM EDT
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
My Prayer
Mood:
a-ok
Good Morning God.....I pray that I will have a great day...You have made it a little better for me lately...I pray for my girls and there family....I start my classes for my depression and anger...I pray that you will give me the strenght and peace of mind for the next few weeks...I pray for Tony and his stresses Lord I pray that you will give him peace....I pray that you will protect Christopher today while he;s with Mimi....Protect all my family.Thank-you for this day that you have given me...Thank-you for everything yuo have given us. I love you. -amen-
Mood:
a-okGood Morning God.....I pray that I will have a great day...You have made it a little better for me lately...I pray for my girls and there family....I start my classes for my depression and anger...I pray that you will give me the strenght and peace of mind for the next few weeks...I pray for Tony and his stresses Lord I pray that you will give him peace....I pray that you will protect Christopher today while he;s with Mimi....Protect all my family.Thank-you for this day that you have given me...Thank-you for everything yuo have given us. I love you. -amen-
Posted by halleyberry1
at 12:01 AM EDT
Why God!Why me!
Mood: hug me
Why me God! Why !
Dear God, Why is it so hard for me to deal with the issuse that you have placed in my life. I don't understand why you have chose me for the road. It hurts so bad. Why couldn't you have pick someother plan for me besides this one. I'm so lost,confussed,lonely. I don't want thos path that you have given me. I love you but why. I know that you picked me for a reason,but why GOd, why me. I hate where I go for help. I hate that my in-laws know that I have a problem. I hate the fact that Ant has to be told what to do when it comes to the baby. He seems sooo clueless and I feel like he relays on me to do everything when it comes to the baby. Why do I feel like a Single mom. I thot it takes two to run a family. He makes me soo mad when I'm doing somethng and doesn't ask if I need help before he does something for himself. Ie: I'm making dinner and he is glue to the darn 'puter. Or umm I'm waiting for you to tell me why Chris is crying.
Mood:
hug meWhy me God! Why !
Dear God, Why is it so hard for me to deal with the issuse that you have placed in my life. I don't understand why you have chose me for the road. It hurts so bad. Why couldn't you have pick someother plan for me besides this one. I'm so lost,confussed,lonely. I don't want thos path that you have given me. I love you but why. I know that you picked me for a reason,but why GOd, why me. I hate where I go for help. I hate that my in-laws know that I have a problem. I hate the fact that Ant has to be told what to do when it comes to the baby. He seems sooo clueless and I feel like he relays on me to do everything when it comes to the baby. Why do I feel like a Single mom. I thot it takes two to run a family. He makes me soo mad when I'm doing somethng and doesn't ask if I need help before he does something for himself. Ie: I'm making dinner and he is glue to the darn 'puter. Or umm I'm waiting for you to tell me why Chris is crying.
Posted by halleyberry1
at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, October 12, 2005 9:46 PM EDT
Newer | Latest | Older